Wanted to briefly go over my year in written form before I vented more about something still on my mind... This year has big so eventful for me... too eventful I might even say in retrospect. 1st My grandma's health was declining due to her old age of 92. I lost my first family member this year and my first loved one. The emotional toll started when I was away in NY with my friends travelling, just trying to get away from life a little bit. Still I couldn't eat much, I didn't sleep as well, and I started breaking out a lot. Sometimes I found myself crying out of nowhere just thinking about the thought of her. Eventually she passed in late summer about 5-6 months after the idea of losing someone first struck me. Big puffy and stinging eyes... I was tired of being sad. With the support of my friends, family, and boyfriend the experience of losing someone to the natural cycle of life still hurts me and leaves my heart raw but I am better able to expresss myself to friends and other loved ones who are new to the experience. My parents perhaps did not seem aware of how this event could have a huge impact on me and Andy. My sisters were very mature about it and grieved on their own. When they realized that I was facing so much stress about it, they decided to give me space and help comfort with words like "in this event, we have the right to be happy... happy that she lived a long, full, and healthy life up until her ending years." 2nd I got into my first relationship! This was definitely a huge pro during such an already stressful time for me. He was always supportive and it was helpful that he knew how I felt because he had previously lost his grandpa (whom he was extremely close to... whereas with my grandma I had grown up close to her, but over time our families had drifted apart in adulthood). I'm glad he was there for me to cry to. Aside from this experience, we are working on building our communication with each other (which I feel happy about so far!); also, from my standpoint, I am working on verbally expressing myself more being that I grew up in an old-traditional Asian household where "I love you" and hugs were never said or given. His family and culture is very open and expressive that I hope to adopt some of those qualities. Time spent with him is very well-spent and I hope we can continue to build good skills together. 3rd I left my old, comfortable job. This came at a time when I was a very active member on a bridal party for my friend Thanh. My last week with my job was the last day before their wedding. When one of the parents came up to me and said a few words before we had to go, I started to sob!! OY! He had said that I had worked with his girls the longest and that he could tell that I cared for their growth and improvement and no one knew his girls as well as I did. He and his wife were so grateful to have me but also sad to say goodbye. I wrote individualized e-mails to all the co-workers and staff I had worked with, thanking them and encouraging them to continue making differences in their kiddo's lives, informing them it was my last weeks. All in all, it was a comfortable job and I craved room to grow, develop my skills, and more hours. 4th I got a new and full-time job. My first full-time job. Still adjusting (3 months into it) and this will lead into my rant actually. Well overall, there is a lot to learn so so much. Working in the schools with a kiddo with special needs, then working at home when they are toddlers and working with their parents who are still wrapping their minds around their kid's diagnosis. Still very hard and many new skills to develop. I can't wait for when I become more comfortable at this, in the meantime I am grateful for the opportunity to work with a larger agency and be supported amongst such intelligent co-workers with MA's and PHD's and BCBA credentials. My rant was that a mom called my supervisor to have a new interventionist. I was kinda upset she didn't come directly to me to address any matter that made her feel uncomfortable. Instead, she's opting to end our sessions together. Her reason was that she didn't like 'my personality.' Of course, this makes me feel so confused. I was surprised and shocked then I was sad to lose the opportunity to help her and her kid then I was mad and now I'm just I don't know... left without feeling? Still confused? The supervisor informed that the mom didn't want me to know and requested her not to inform me. Thankfully the sup did let me know and although I'll still act professionally whenever I enter her home, I just wished she would use her communication skills to talk with me. It also makes me feel sad because she is losing the chance to work with me and I've already seen 3 months worth of her son's behaviors and how she runs her house... I guess I gotta respect her decision even if it confuses me so much! I am left to believe that she is very sensitive with taking feedback. And although I gave her soft feedback with lots of support on her good actions with her son, maybe she needed someone even moree gentle. Amazing. OK that is my rant! I guess that's the end of my road there. I'll look forward to gaining more skills in parent education and can't wait to improve myself in this work field. Happy New Year!! | 
i find myself often surrounded by a few solid relationships that kindly remind me that life is best spent with the people you love
